"A new sense of freedom has arrived. I am sad to lose Steven, but it's his time to find his own potential.  Depression will cloud your reality in such a pervasive manner that you forget what you are endowed with, what you enjoy, what you want from life. I want him to remember those things for himself. I can't tell if he felt pressure from me or from the general sense of pressure that can come from being in a relationship. Regardless, I don't think now is the time for us. That doesn't mean the future may not hold something, if we are both wiser and stronger. At this point in my life, I can't put my eggs in any basket until my own is full."

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So, I don't want to alter things that I've written. But. It's interesting to read this paragraph in retrospect. To look at it from a stylized perspective, the topic sentence is "A new sense of freedom has arrived." This communicates what the paragraph will entail. Instead of writing about my own freedom, I choose to write about his. I won't lie, my heart kind of plummeted when I realized it. A new sense of freedom! "But it's time for him to find his own potential." What about my life? Nothing like childhood to engrain some codependent, put the other person's feelings before your own, thinking patterns. It's time for me to find and understand my own potential. What I am endowed with and what I enjoy. To live my life for me. Imagine. How riveting.  Steven was the only person I showed this blog to. Part of me is afraid he is reading. I know in my heart he understands, but I can't help but fear he could feel hurt. My heart knows his heart knows. Heart always knows... Like mine knows it's been left out to dry too long. So ready to plunge myself in the depths of life! If I could only write of the strangely glorious things I have experienced in the short weeks I have been single. I am doing exactly what I want to do with my life. Living it so fully I could never question if I allowed myself to brazen the bizarre, odd, and ultimately fulfilling experiences that can make living such a raw experience.